Of A Top Hat

In my nonfiction class my professor gave us an in-class prompt to write about an article of clothing. I this amused me so I shall transcribe it here. It’s nothing spectacular but amusing nonetheless.

Top Hat

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My Top Hat

So much more than a top hat. It was a cheap Goodwill top hat. A top hat that had a sticker inside it proclaiming “Not appropriate for those 14 and under.”

It was black. It was plastic with a low quality ribbon around the base. The brim curled up an inch. The flat top of the hat was a few inches shorter than the legit one’s you see in period films.

It was amazing.

Yes I still have it. No I haven’t worn it since that night two Halloween’s ago.

Except for when friends come over and decide it must come out of hibernation. Particularly my friend Nicole. She’ll put it on and it comes to life. It becomes the star of the show – surprisingly, an excellent dancer.

When I wore it those years ago my costume was undetermined. Some said I was a dancer, others presumed vaudeville act, and some thought sexy business woman. All in all that Halloween was a dud. With the exception of a brief dance party at the Christian frat in Seattle, where Nicole got so plastered that she passed out and a half-naked Native American took care of her. We later found her lying in the hallway with a folding table as a blanket.

But my hat was a hit. As I said, it stole the spotlight.

After all, it’s a great dance partner.


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