Of Contraband (Movie Review)

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I’m always told I should write reviews. I did once for The Muppets, I guess now I’ll write one for Contraband. Note: this will not be an intellectual review.

I’d give this movie a 2.56 out of 10 – it drove me crazy, and here’s why:

EVERYONE WAS MEAN FOR NO REASON! Honestly, the only two characters with a shred of humanity were the children and even they were stupid and freakishly comfortable after having a gun nearly blow off their faces. I don’t mind mean people in movies/TV, in fact, we need them to create interesting conflict. But there needs to be a reason, there needs to be a balance between jerks and good guys to some degree.

There’s not really anything about this movie that’s unique. Basically Mark Wahlberg used to be a smuggler (apparently he was the best at it) and his brother-in-law, Andy (Caleb Landry Jones), is having issues with a drug lord, Tim Briggs (Giovanni Ribisi). Cue the story of thieving and an abundance of violence.

If you really want to see this movie then don’t read the paragraph below (I promise I won’t be too detailed):

In this world everything is high money and unnecessarily angry –  so naturally that means answering the door with a gun when your daughter is sitting there watching TV, not calling the cops when someone tries to kill you, bribing the angry Panama gang leader, Gonzalo (Diego Luna), by offering to be a part of ANOTHER crime which you really don’t have time to do cause the boat could leave without you making the whole situation pointless plus, killing your family.

There was one character who I thought, at least he’s nice, he was helping out the “goody guys” (as if there were any). But he ended up being the biggest jerk of all! Worse than the guy that nearly killed the children. Honestly, I was so distracted by how mean everyone was, how there was absolutely no regard for humanity, how everyone (except Wahlberg) was so rash and cold, that I lost interest in the thin plot. At one point I got up to walk around for five minutes just to take a break from all the anger.

I did LOVE the song at the end of the movie – it’s a catchy little bluesy ditty.

Except in the movie the song was a really nice cover by Big Head Todd and The Monsters

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