Of My February 14th’s

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February 14th has never been a day that I truly cared about. In all honesty, I usually forget about the holiday until it’s actually the day of (maybe the day before). I have exactly four Valentine’s Day’s that stand out in my memory.

1. My junior year of high school a boy who liked me brought a bouquet of roses to my front door. I accepted them, gave him a quick hug, and retreated back into my house. I was incredibly embarrassed because now I would have to explain how I got flowers to my parents. My family does not frequently discuss dating, hormones, or feelings so he put me in, what I deemed as, a really awkward position.
2. Two years ago my boyfriend at the time made me dinner. It was a beautiful dinner, I believe there was shrimp and I LOVE shrimp. But when I was on my way to make coffee I broke my French Press. I was so distraught I started crying and I almost let it ruin the dinner.
3. Last year I didn’t realize it was Valentine’s Day and my ex-boyfriend came over. Well, intimacy occurred and then we started talking. I was being very honest, explaining how the way he handled things was wrong. I’ll spare you the stupid details. So, then I had a naked man crying in my bed for about an hour… unfortunately that was not the first time he’d cried in my bed. By this point I no longer felt sympathy for his tears. Especially since in this case they weren’t justified.
4. This year I did nothing for the Day of the Cupid. I went to school, visited my grandparents who made dinner for the whole family, then I went over to Erin’s and watched a “scary” TV show called The River. I still don’t think it was all that scary… they screamed, I laughed, they jumped, I rolled my eyes. That’s usually how it goes when I watch scary programs with other women.
   
   But the reason why I mark this as one of my four Valentine’s to remember is that while last year I had a naked man crying in my bed, this year I was single and gay. The changes that occurred in a year fascinate me and make this a Valentine’s worth remembering. Maybe next year I’ll have a lady friend, maybe not, at least within this last year I figured out more of who I am. Who knows what I’ll discover by next Valentine’s.

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What I miss is the shoe box Valentine’s that we had in elementary school. Maybe next year I’ll throw a shoe box Valentine’s Day party. Give everybody a sense of nostalgia. But the people who freak out about Valentine’s Day are not invited – they annoy me and I don’t understand them.

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