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February 14th has never been a day that I truly cared about. In all honesty, I usually forget about the holiday until it’s actually the day of (maybe the day before). I have exactly four Valentine’s Day’s that stand out in my memory.
- My junior year of high school a boy who liked me brought a bouquet of roses to my front door. I accepted them, gave him a quick hug, and retreated back into my house. I was incredibly embarrassed because now I would have to explain how I got flowers to my parents. My family does not frequently discuss dating, hormones, or feelings so he put me in, what I deemed as, a really awkward position.
- Two years ago my boyfriend at the time made me dinner. It was a beautiful dinner, I believe there was shrimp and I LOVE shrimp. But when I was on my way to make coffee I broke my French Press. I was so distraught I started crying and I almost let it ruin the dinner.
- Last year I didn’t realize it was Valentine’s Day and my ex-boyfriend came over. Well, intimacy occurred and then we started talking. I was being very honest, explaining how the way he handled things was wrong. I’ll spare you the stupid details. So, then I had a naked man crying in my bed for about an hour… unfortunately that was not the first time he’d cried in my bed. By this point I no longer felt sympathy for his tears. Especially since in this case they weren’t justified.
- This year I did nothing for the Day of the Cupid. I went to school, visited my grandparents who made dinner for the whole family, then I went over to Erin’s and watched a “scary” TV show called The River. I still don’t think it was all that scary… they screamed, I laughed, they jumped, I rolled my eyes. That’s usually how it goes when I watch scary programs with other women.
But the reason why I mark this as one of my four Valentine’s to remember is that while last year I had a naked man crying in my bed, this year I was single and gay. The changes that occurred in a year fascinate me and make this a Valentine’s worth remembering. Maybe next year I’ll have a lady friend, maybe not, at least within this last year I figured out more of who I am. Who knows what I’ll discover by next Valentine’s.
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What I miss is the shoe box Valentine’s that we had in elementary school. Maybe next year I’ll throw a shoe box Valentine’s Day party. Give everybody a sense of nostalgia. But the people who freak out about Valentine’s Day are not invited – they annoy me and I don’t understand them.
well keen 🙂
Please have a showbox Valentine’s Day party!!! That would be awesome!
I have always had mixed feelings about Valentine’s Day. Now that I am in a relationship though, I like it 🙂 This Valentine’s Day, I sent my boyfriend a custom made book with photos from our relationship over the last 2 and a half years – he loved it and that was the best gift ever!
Photo pictures are always appreciated, they show that you didn’t run to Target real quick because you almost forgot about present giving 🙂
i didn’t know you had thoughts about being gay. that’s interesting. can you look back over years and years and see signs of that possibility?
When I look back yes, but at the time it wasn’t an option due to the expectations in my parents house. So I didn’t let myself acknowledge it for a long time.
if you don’t mind me asking – and if you do, perhaps answer through e-mail or other message – have you acted on these thoughts? have you gotten reactions from friends or family? has it been positive?