Of Movie Crowds

Comic about Disney and Porn

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For three years I’ve worked at a movie theater. In that time I’ve come to recognize particular crowds (meaning that I can usually tell what movie you’re going to watch before you walk up to my till). All I have to do is look at how you’re dressed and who you’re with – I usually guess right.

Of course not everyone conforms to fit a particular movie group, but most do.

There’s the horror crowd: typically teenagers or groups of bros. These people tend to be loud and boisterous. Or they reek of marijuana.

There’s the romantic (comedy) crowd: this crowd almost always comes in pairs. Boys and girls on dates. Or single (probably lonely) girls looking to lose themselves in a life more romantic than theirs.

There’s the comedy crowd: this one’s the most diverse and thus the hardest to predict. These people come in waves and show up almost exactly fifteen minutes before their movie starts (all at the same time).

There’s the fan-club crowd: this changes depending on the fan-base. For example, Twilight, The Hunger Games, Watchmen, The Avengers, Nicholas Sparks Books. These people have read the book and they are beyond psyched for the film release.

But there’s a new crowd that I’d never seen before – the lustful crowd. With the start of male stripper movie Magic Mike, aka Coyote Ugly with penises or The Full Monty with young people. Women walk up to me with hungry eyes and give me this look of ecstasy. As if I’m supposed to share in their glee and desire to stare at men strip and dance. Yeah, I don’t care, sorry. Then they giggle towards their theater.

Normally when checking theaters, to make sure everything’s working smoothly, I see faces or shock, joy, sadness, fear, disinterest, boredom, and so on. With Magic Mike I saw what I can only describe as extreme horniness. Like these women chose to come to this movie so that they could go to a strip club without the demeaning activity of actually going to one.

I haven’t seen the film yet, but from what I’ve seen – these boys are not afraid to be trashy.

Magic Mike GIF

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5 thoughts on “Of Movie Crowds

    • Ha, nice. You can probably spot the differences between a Justin Bieber fan versus a The Black Keys fan from miles away.

  1. Lol, I’ve always been interested about what it’d be like to work at a movie theater, and I can imagine the sort of audience Magic Mike drew in was pretty much the same at your theater as it was at the one I went to.

    Anyways I’m a straight guy and even I ended up enjoying the movie for the most part so I’d recommend it. Feel free to check out my review if you’re interested and happy blogging!


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