Of Boobs on Slides

Pink Swimsuit

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I mentioned recently that I was going to a water park, Wild Waves to be more specific. It was awesome – rollercoaster’s and water slides? – yes! And wow, were there a lot of boobs hanging out – I swear I wasn’t just staring at chests all day, I was preoccupied with rides.

Still, a girl notices these things.

Now don’t be mislead, I love boobs, they’re awesome, soft, and sexy. I’m all for a lady rocking some tasteful cleavage (but if your nipple resides barely below the top of your shirt, I’d say you’re showing too much). Let’s avoid being trashy, okay? I’m not normally one to insult someone for showing off their skin. If a woman is confident and comfortable in her body then I’m all for her putting it on display. But there’s a limit.

At the park I saw a lot of boobs that were barely strapped in, with each step they’d jiggle to the point where I became concerned about what should happen if those ladies go on a slide. Sometimes the twins appeared crooked in a cheap swimsuit. A lot of people fashioned themselves in trendy suits that only look good on models and did nothing but make them appear oddly shaped. One lady had chapstick that she attempted to hide under one boob, yeah, it didn’t work. Despite that there were some attractive people, and in turn breasts, at the park. The overwhelming amount of awkward, saggy, over-tanned, wrinkly, and too big for their swimsuits – outrageously overpowered the pretty people.

Most horrifying of all was three girls (I’m going to guess thirteen at oldest) that we had to stand behind in line for 20 minutes. One girl had on a normal two-piece swimsuit. The second girl had a thin black bikini that was a little to big for her (but she was covered). The third girl is the one that my friends and I began whispering about. She had on one of those tub top swimsuits. I get it, no tan lines. Girl three was either excited to show off her skin or she was unaware what she was showing. She had some serious underboob going on. Meaning the spot below the breast where bras and swimsuits usually make contact didn’t exist. Instead we got a not so lovely eye full of a solid centimeter of under boob on a future slutty girl. It was disgusting. Under boob cleavage is not a thing, nor will it ever be a thing, unless we stop wearing normal length shirts.

Sadly that was not my only encounter with under boob. But it was the most appalling considering their age.

Here’s the lesson:

  • Upper boob or cleavage (acceptable, if tasteful).
  • Side boob (depends on outfit and body type).
  • Under boob (never okay).
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3 thoughts on “Of Boobs on Slides

  1. Underboob is classy.

    I seriously don’t understand people who say it’s slutty. It shows less of the breasts then normal cleavage and is less showy and leaves more to the imagination, there’s more mystery. If anything normal cleavage is slutty cause it’s on display at the top leaving nothing to the imagination. Really underboob is classy and charming and everyone saying it isn’t is either jealous they can’t pull it off or just have bad tastes.

    And yes it is a thing, and it was a thing back in the 70’s with bikers. And yes it is making a come back.

    There I said it, and yes I’m being dead serious. *Puts up flame shield*

    • If you want to go for the rides, the park is awesome. If you want to go for the human scenery, I’m pretty sure every water park in the USA offers the same awkwardness.

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