Of “Natural” Yearnings

Love Equality

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Sometimes I’ve found that when people don’t share someone’s sexuality they respond with, “It’s just not natural.” Oye! Why is this still a statement in our society? I’ve come to the realization that those that respond with claims of it’s unnatural simply lack the ability to think outside the binary that they’ve lodged themselves into. For society loves to define people with binaries, and in terms of sexuality there’s only two options: gay or straight. With straight being the “better” of the two boxes. Thus, how could a human even consider making the gay choice? As if a choice was there to be made. Honestly, why would anyone choose the route of prejudice and oppression – that’s just nonsense. However, they can choose to cave into the pressures of their surroundings and deny who they are.

We have gotten better as a human race. Tolerance, acceptance, and equality is where we’re headed – some of us faster than others. Someone’s gaiety is no longer the great scandal it used to be, course, that might not be true depending on where you live. I’m fortunate to live in a liberal part of the country, where my gayness is accepted and not seen as a big ordeal to most people. I feel completely comfortable being who I am around my friends, a luxury that I’m aware not everyone has.

But there’s still people out there who would not be as accepting. Like the ignorant fellow who posted this picture to his blog with the caption declaring that nature demonstrates how homosexuality is not natural or fruitful (I’m paraphrasing):

Homophobic Cartoon

 

I saw this and immediately rolled my eyes. Seriously? You’re defining what’s natural with electronics? How are electronics natural? That makes about much sense as portraits of white Jesus, even though he lived in the Middle East, I guarantee he was not white. Or saying that peanut butter and chocolate are not compatible because they taste different. It’s silly.

For one, electronics are man-made. Two, going along with the plug-in example, I think it’s only fair to point out that there are other electronics that make EVERYTHING in that cartoon compatible – haven’t you ever ran out of outlets while setting up Christmas lights and had to find a way to make the ‘non-compatible’ plug ends work together? Hell, by this logic an extension cord is promoting polygamy.  A sexuality that I’m assuming anyone who agrees with the comic also finds unnatural.

But I still don’t feel the need to insult you. If the blogger who posted that happens to read this, I’m not trying to Internet bully you, your photo was simply the perfect illustration for something I’ve been meaning to write for several months. I think that you’re allowed to believe what you want to believe – I just wish that didn’t have to include insulting people who are different from you, I wish homophobia was a ghost story told around a campfire. I understand the mindset of those that find homosexuality unnatural, for I was raised to believe the same thing. It’s simple – you don’t understand it, and you were taught it was wrong – thus it must be so. If only life were that straightforward.

Here’s what I think about the word natural. Almost everyone is using it wrong. Take for instance polygamous relationships. I’m not polygamous, and I was talking to another non-polygamous friend about multiple partner relationships.

She stated, “It doesn’t seem natural, I can’t imagine being willing to share my boyfriend with someone else.”

I responded, “It’s not natural for you, that doesn’t make it an unnatural act. It’s just not meant for you. But for someone else, it’s completely natural and makes them happy. So natural in fact, that they can’t imagine living any other way. Just like any other sexuality. It’s not about what is and isn’t natural – it’s what natural for you.”

In my opinion, that’s where the heart of all these debates about what’s right and wrong, natural and unnatural, come from. People have a hard time understanding that unnatural for them does not mean unnatural for everyone. The world isn’t that black and white. There’s not two boxes. With one box being superior, and the other a bunch of lost souls, doomed to live a life of darkness and sorrow.

There’s actually no boxes at all – there are people – a wonderful and diverse crowd of fellow humans. We should embrace our differences. After all, God made us all in His image right? Maybe there’s more to God than what’s just in the Bible. Or maybe, we got His message confused. After all, the word of God was penned by man.

To quote The L Word, “If God hates us, then why are we all so sexy?”

Love is Love

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17 thoughts on “Of “Natural” Yearnings

  1. You’re so right about the whole “natural” thing (what a stupid ‘argument’ and what a stupid word in this context anyway). Our perceptions are all learned… And if we take the word ‘natural’ at its very basic and have a look at nature in general and not just us humans, this ‘argument’ makes even less sense.

    • Oh, and to the person who drew/posted that plug picture, I’d like to ask them if I’m a racist because I just cannot fit a UK plug into a EU plughole. It’s just not compatible. This worries me.

      • Haha, you’re probably racist. How dare you try to combine plugs from different countries 🙂 Or maybe …. we’re all supposed to be racist, as plug ins and outlets supposedly demonstrate what is and isn’t natural.

  2. I love this post. I’m finding the older I get the more I agree with what you say. For me, monogamy was normal. But I’m finding that it really isn’t. I’m finding that I was born to heal with my body and with my words. I don’t think that’s a sin. Others in my life would say that my thinking is wrong. But is it? I don’t think so. I believe it’s how I’m made. It’s how God made me. I was born to nurture, to love, to heal, to want, to fix, to need. There is no wrong way to love. It is only wrong NOT to love. For who can live without it? I can’t. I find that every person I connect with, I love. I may not love them sexually, but I connect in some way. I like that about me, and I never want to change that. It’s what I was born to do. I will keep connecting, with words and maybe even my body. And for me and those I connect with, it’s not wrong.

  3. Some folks just don’t get the love thing which I can’t understand myself – it’s about something positive. If it was about murder or war, then I could see people not understanding homosexuality – it doesn’t make sense.

      • They just don’t seem to get it. I remember, years ago, being invited to a pre – Christmas gathering when we had just moved into a rural community. We didn’t know anyone and for some reason which I can’t remember, the topic came around to homosexuality. One woman started going on about the bible and that the it was wrong because the parts don’t fit (like that silly diagram), at the time a lovely lesbian lady I know had lost her daughter to cancer – I told the woman this and then said to her – I expect you think that she doesn’t bleed either. She obviously didn’t give a jot to what I had said but I am always puzzled when people are so earnest about religion and yet don’t act with blessings towards others simply because they are a bit different from them.

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