Of The Host (Movie Review)

The Host Movie Poster

Click image to view source.

I watched the latest Stephenie Meyer teenage-hormonal-angst movie, The Host, mostly because it was the next movie to start when I was at the theater.

To put it simply, it wasn’t good, granted not the worst movie of all time, but I’m defiantly not interested in watching it again. Some parts felt like a western, others syfy, romance, bad puns, unintended comedy, action, and of course drama. The concept was just bizarre – I’ll sum it up for you:

Four personalities, Three bodies, Two romances, One messed up planet.

*Spoiler alert*

Basically these aliens, with shiny circles around their pupils, invade planets and fix them. They are peaceful, non-violent, can’t stand the thought of killing a soul, and don’t lie. But somehow they don’t have a problem taking over human bodies, even though this would require them to kick out someone’s soul. Seems a wee bit hypocritical to me.

So this alien named Wanderer gets put into the body of a rebellious human named Melanie. Only Melanie’s a fighter so she’s like, “Hold up! I’m not going away that easily. Here’s some painful memories. Here’s some sexy memories. Here’s why you should help me.”  It was quite comical watching the actress (Saoirse Ronan) argue with herself.

Eventually Wanderer does as Melanie desires, but not before pissing off the Seeker (Diane Kruger). The Seeker is highly obsessed with finding and taking over the remaining human’s. Whom she believes she’ll be able to locate when she finds Wanderer.

So Wanderer ends up walking through the desert and is found by Melanie’s uncle (William Hurt), boyfriend Jared (Max Irons), and a bunch of other people.

This is where it gets ridiculous. The remaining humans live in these majestic caves located in the desert. Beautiful tunnels, a river flowing through, a wheat field, and large rooms house all these people. And how did they end up there? The uncle fell in. Seriously? Can’t think of any more creative or realistic reason? Like maybe they built it, or they stayed in an old mining cave?

Wanderer (now called Wanda) falls in love with a guy named Ian (Jake Abel). Melanie doesn’t like this.

Eventually people figure out that a human’s soul can stay alive in a possessed body. And Wanderer teaches them how to extract alien souls from bodies without killing the human. Then Wanderer tries to give Melanie her body back and everyone protests. Yeah, protests, which is absurd  Even Melanie is all, “no, you can’t die Wanda! I love you sister.” So I guess Melanie is okay with sharing her body at this point. All the while, the Seeker is hunting them down.

Don’t worry, the ending is clean and simple – but it’s happy. I’ll let you go ahead and figure out what happens, that is, if you haven’t already solved the puzzle.

But if I were you, I wouldn’t watch it. Anyways, here’s the trailer:


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