Of New Chapters

Belle - Beauty and the Beast

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That’s why I’m going. So I don’t have to wait until I die to start seeking a Great Perhaps.” – John Green, Looking for Alaska.

Routine is nice, but it’s a wee bit on the boring side. Lately it feels like I’ve been meandering aimlessly – when I could have been frolicking gleefully.

Everyday I bitch about waking up, I hate waking up, almost as much as I hate getting ready for bed. Though nothing is worse than getting ready for bed. I’d rather be forced to play team sports or do yoga – both activities I suck at, and have zero desire to participate in.

Then I do your basics: shower, make coffee, grab breakfast on the go, tailgate the assholes who refuse to drive the speed limit, scurry into the office, and get everything set up before my bosses arrive.

Next up, I work. I truly enjoy my job, I do, so I don’t mind working – but still, routine.

Lastly, I go home and hang out with the roommates. And then one, if not all, of these scenarios will play out:

  1. We spend at least an hour trying to figure out what to make for dinner.
  2. We talk about dance (or actually dance).
  3. We talk about failed attempts at romance.
  4. We watch a movie.

Repeat.

Repeat.

Repeat.

I’m starting to get thirsty for something new and exciting – a Great Perhaps, you could say.

I need to step outside my comfort zone. Meet strangers. Try new activities. To stop talking and actually do something. However, I require someone else to hold me accountable thanks to my minuscule self-motivation skills.

Cause you see, I’m great at talking about what I want to do, but I rarely actually do anything outside of my routine.

I’ve always wanted to:

  • Perform burlesque.
  • Write freelance articles for a sub-pop culture magazine or literary journal.
  • Write a novel.
  • Start a vlog.
  • Successfully ask out a stranger.
  • Learn to hula hoop dance.
  • Sew an outfit that doesn’t look homemade.
  • Get proper DJ equipment and mix my own tracks.

Alas, here I sit. Doing nothing.

I talk to the same lovely people everyday. Eat the same foods. Do the same activities. And succeed at hiding myself away in my cozy little corner, where everything is safe, and I never have to deal with anything uncomfortable or intimidating.

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