“Let me entertain you, let me make you smile.” – Gypsy, Stephen Sondheim
Valentine’s Day is the ultimate holiday of emotional abuse – at least, commercially. It’s the day that puts extreme pressure on those in a relationship whilst beating up the singletons with an emotional whip. No matter where you are in your love life – Valentine’s Day is gonna get you. It’s essentially the sniper of holidays.
As a single person, there are two types of advertisements that are geared in my direction:
- You are a strong independent female, you don’t need a man, not like those other weak girls with boyfriends. Pssh! Girl power!
- You are clearly desperate, lonely, and in need of some good lovin’. Here’s how to power through the day until your sad soul finds a man to make you complete.
The common thread here? Men are awful, BUT you kinda need one to be your best self. Not only do I not relate to these male focused ads because I’m a lesbian, but also because I disagree with HOW the men are supposed to function. They are either dooming the women, by making them be less than they are. Or they’ll rescuing the women, by pulling them out of their despair and into the light. Neither seems like a healthy start to a relationship, at least, not to me.
Here’s what I want in a partner: someone who will put on a show with me.
Silly, simple, and slightly nonsensical isn’t it?
I find that because I have a loud personality, a lot of the dates I go on feel like a performance. Which is not a fun feeling. I don’t enjoying having to interview someone in order to have a conversation.
In short, it often feels like this:
The women I’ve truly been smitten by have put on a show with me. The conversation flows easily and it’s clear that this person wouldn’t pull me down, nor life me up, they’d meet me in the middle.
Which, in my opinion, is how it should work. Of course people will have their ups and downs – that’s just common sense. But if you’re gonna be with someone, they should be your equal. Not your savior or your baggage.
So to the currently yoked people.
- Ignore the advertisements, you don’t need to spend a thousand dollars or whisk your partner away to paradise island. Just spend the evening together and dim the lights.
To the single people.
- If you’re struggling, call your friends and celebrate yourselves. Bake something, play a game, build a fort, and just have fun.
- If you’re not struggling, then you already know what to do. 🙂
Happy Valentine’s Day!