Of Writing Muscles

I haven’t written a plot driven story, poem, limerick, or really anything since I graduated. And it’s already been a year and a half since that momentous event occurred.

Recently I discovered that while my ability to ramble has not faded, my fiction muscles were defiantly out of shape.

When I first sat down at my laptop I was ready to kick ass. After all, in the past I’ve written fantastic stories on two hours of sleep and within extreme time constraints. So obviously this was gonna go well:

Anchorman - Big Deal

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The first draft was nothing more than awkward, unnatural dialogue. No imagery, limited movement, and hardly even a purpose. It was deleted.

So I decided it was best to start over. Now that the initial creative process kinks were out-of-the-way it was just a matter of accomplishing the task at hand:

Anchorman - Fight

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The second draft was much better, but not improved enough to make me say, “Good job self.” Most of this version will be deleted.

Now I’m embarking on draft three. If all goes well, this draft will be on par with the stories I wrote when I had only an hour to throw together a 2-5 page exercise to discuss during class. At this phase it feels a bit chaotic. However, now I’m invested, and turning back to the la-de-da world of binge watching Netflix is no longer an option. Sadly, this draft will most likely also join the scrap heap:

Anchorman - Regret Decision

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By draft four, maybe just maybe, it might be good enough to share with the internet. Because if by the fourth draft I still haven’t got my writing muscles back into shape, that would be a true travesty:

Anchorman - Glass Cage

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I think what I need is a writing group to keep me accountable. Whether they be strangers via the online universe, or people I may or may not know who live nearby. I need someone to give me a deadline and a reason to stare a computer for hours a day. Initially I will hate them for making me enter the treacherous love/hate world of writing. But when I finally have a tangible (and awesome) story that I can hand to a group for discussion, all I’ll be able to say is:

Anchorman - Love You

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They say that, “You’re always your worst critic,” but I’ve always thought I was decently awesome. So if I say it sucks, trust me when I say it’s a shitfest that’s not ready to be viewed by anyone. However, when my writing is once again impressive …. I shall show it everyone:

Anchorman - Jump for Joy

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Of “Accidents” in Bed

Pitch Perfect Meme

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I would like to declare that there is no such thing as an accidental hook up, or just happening to make out with someone, or even magically holding hands.

Someone makes a move. Someone has to. Even in a blackout drunk situation at least one person has to think, this is a good idea, I’m gonna do this, for any sort of physical action to take place. “It takes two to tango” is a cliché for a reason, but no tango has ever started without someone asking for a dance.

And I would know, I’ve thrown my fair share of drunken, half-naked, make-out parties, and I’ve never once accidentally made out with anyone – one of us always went in for the kiss. Now I have not remembered making out with someone on occasion, but even so it was no accident. Truthfully, I’m usually the initiator, but that’s not really relevant. I mean, the point is that I decided to make physical contact. Me. I didn’t slip, trip, or stumble naked into someone’s bed.

Still, quite often I hear, “I don’t know man, it just happened. One minute we’re hanging out and the next we’re making out.” No, it doesn’t work that way. What really happened is that you were hanging out and one of you kissed the other, and they willingly accepted the offer. Granted, if you were the receiver it might have seemed like it was suddenly happening. But I feel pretty confident saying that the initiator made a conscious choice to go for it.

When people start talking about accidental sex (not rape, that’s an awful and totally different situation), I find that even more baffling. I mean, you took your clothes off, or allowed someone else to undress you. You didn’t slip and as you fell, the universe tore off your outfit, leaving you stark naked and ready to go. It just doesn’t make sense.

As far as I can tell, using words like accident, just happened, oops, I was drunk, etc – are used by people who aren’t willing to own up to their own behavior. And it’s not like they need to be ashamed: they’re human, they like sex, so they went for it.

They don’t need to make up excuses.

 

 

 

Of Tuesday Tunes – Would You Like to Take a Walk? by She & Him

My song of the week is Would You Like to Take a Walk? by She & Him.

This past week I’ve been listening to the Classics album by She & Him virtually non-stop. The album is full of lesser known songs from back in the day that are simply delightful.

Would You Like to Take a Walk? wasn’t initially my favorite song on the album, but now it’s the one I frequent the most. It’s quirky charm won me over.

Favorite lyric: “Something good will come from that.”

Of Tuesday Tunes – You Don’t See Me by Josie and The Pussycats

Every now and then I go through a hardcore Josie and The Pussycats phase. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the album to the 2001 masterpiece is not only a great soundtrack, but a great rock album.

Normally, the songs I gravitate most to on the album are the high energy girl power rock anthems. But lately I’ve been really drawn to You Don’t See Me. It’s a lovely ballad, and the sentiment of the song is something that I believe most of us can relate to: being in love with someone who doesn’t love you back.

Favorite lyric: “I dream of fire when you’re touching my hand, but it twists into smoke as I turn on the light.”

Of Tuesday Tunes – I Didn’t Mean It by The Belle Brigade

My song of the week, on a Wednesday sorry, is I Didn’t Mean It by The Belle Brigade.

I’ve loved this song for years, and I go through phases where I rock out to it in my car for weeks on end.

I’m currently deep into one of those phases.

I Didn’t Mean It is reminiscent of classic rock, but it has a fun pop energy. Don’t be fooled by the fact that it’s from the Twilight soundtrack, or that half the comments on the video are about peoples love of Twilight – cause in reality the Twilight soundtracks are phenomenal.

This is the perfect song for taking a road trip, lounging by the lake, or having an adventure on a sunny summer day. Though I’d recommend cruise control, songs like this tend to make me speed.

Favorite lyric: “So I accused you wrong. Now I’m the guilty one. Hey, give me my sentence. I’ll pay my penance. Nothing kills me more than the pain I have for hurting you.”

Of Tuesday Tunes – Underground by Adam Lambert

My song of the week is Underground by Adam Lambert.

Adam Lambert recently dropped his latest album and it’s unsurprisingly wonderful. What I really appreciate about Adam is that he takes risks with all of his albums by playing with genre. You can tell which album a song is from based on it’s aesthetic, but no matter what it still feels like an Adam song.

Underground is about longing, loss, and love. The song itself is a mixture of R&B and EDM, with a bass drop is sheer sexy perfection.

There is no music video, but you can enjoy starring at his beautiful face. 🙂

Favorite lyric: “Cause nobody feels you like I do, nobody kills me like you do, nothing I take can ever cut through, I’m in trouble.”

Of Tuesday Tunes- Earth Song by Michael Jackson

My song of the week is Earth Song by Michael Jackson.

Like many, I’ve been a fan of Michael Jackson’s for most my life. My dad showed me a video of him doing the moonwalk when I was a child and I was sold. Earth Song may not be one of Michael’s most well known songs, but it’s lovely all the same. It has that King of Pop energy that we all grew to love and has a not so subtle message: Save the Earth.

I love a powerful wordless chorus, which this song executes perfectly. My favorite moment is about half way the during the chorus when the key changes, it’s a semi-subtle change that leads beautifully into the intensity of the last verse.

As for the video, I’m 90% sure that Michael was going for strong imagery. However, it is possible that this song was used in a 1995 disaster movie – I didn’t bother to Google it.

Favorite lyric: “Do we give a damn.”

Of Tuesday Tunes – Say My Name (cover) by Ólafur Arnalds and Arnór Dan

My song of the week is Say My Name (cover) by Ólafur Arnalds and Arnór Dan.

Remember that catchy, upbeat, Destiny’s Child jam from back in the day? Remember how you and your friends bonded singing along and rocking out?

This amazing cover tosses aside the uptempo 90’s pop beat, focuses on the lyrics, and throws in a cello. The result? A version of the throwback classic that will tug at your heartstrings.

The first time I djed this version my friend Jackie came up to me and said, “Well, now I’m officially sad.” I love songs that make you sad though, it means that it reached into the depths of you and made you feel something. To me, that’s a beautiful thing.

Perhaps it’s the cello that pulls out the emotion, they have a tendency to do that.

Favorite lyric: “Say my name, say my name.”

Of Tuesday Tunes – Swimming Pool by Freezepop

My song of the week is Swimming Pool by Freezepop.

Swimming Pool is quite a long song (6:56), but it’s also an incredibly beautiful song. It’s synthesizer paradise that’s divided into two parts. The first part has a intro that’s (1:30ish) minutes long, which sets the tone that continues to swell throughout the verse until the second part – where the real magic happens. The second half is why I love this song, it’s striped down and simple until the kick comes in. A lovely juxtaposition of the first half.

The lyrics are charmingly sweet, just a song about jumping into a pool with your loved one and being in the moment.

Favorite Lyric: “Everything is perfect now.”

Of Tuesday Tunes – Don’t Dream It’s Over by Miley Cyrus & Ariana Grande

My song of the week is Don’t Dream It’s Over by Miley Cyrus & Ariana Grande.

I’ve been really digging Miley Cyrus’ Backyard Sessions, which is raising awareness for her Happy Hippie Foundation. The foundation is aimed at helping homeless LGBT kids and other vulnerable populations, an issue that Miley is very passionate about.

Normally I’m not the biggest Ariana Grande fan, but even I think she comes off adorable and *gasp* even relatable in a mouse-bear onesie.

The Crowded Mouse cover is sweet and simple. Miley gets distracted and starts flirting, Ariana spazzes out when she misses her cue, but they sound great.

Favorite lyric: “They come, they come, to build a wall between us, but we know that they won’t win.”