Of the X Factor Auditions (TV Review)

X Factor Judges

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Britney Spears is a judge on the X Factor, and because I’m a crazy super fan, this meant that I would actually consider watching the program. I’m pleased to report that she is an honest and critical judge – even the haters can’t argue that. I was expecting the auditions to feel like American Idol, considering that it’s a similar concept (find the next American – better yet, GLOBAL – superstar) with Simon Cowell on the panel. I was wrong, very wrong.

I’ve always felt that the intention behind the American Idol auditions were to make fun of people. They weren’t concerned in their editing to showcase the talented individuals. They wanted crazies, ugly, and terrible singers who genuinely believed that they had talent. I always felt bad for the people auditioning and would wait until the top twelve were chosen to start watching the program. I hate witnessing people embarrass themselves – especially on a national level. It makes me uncomfortable.

Based off the two episodes of the X Factor that I’ve watched I can already tell I like this program better. Instead of trying to make me laugh at bad people, whoever is in charge of editing the program clearly has one goal – pull at your heart. The past few hours of my life I’ve smiled, felt immensely creeped out, laughed, sat in suspense, and cried. My emotions were a whirlwind of chaos as I learned of people’s life stories and watched them either succeed or fail. What I like so far about the X Factor is that they have been able to fairly balance the great and the terrible.

Plus, there’s an element of human interest (that’s how they attack your heart), and they don’t cheat by showing home footage to let me know that someone made it before they audition. Sometimes I’ll really like the person, want them to do well, but they can’t sing. Others are awful human beings who can sing. And when they are likable and can sing, it’s like magic, and I cry all over again.

Warning, spoilers. There’s the girl who was bullied intensely and delivered a powerhouse performance that inspired Demi Lovato to stand up and give her a hug, a man who once sang a duet with Britney in 1999 but failed in such a way that made my mouth drop open and tears fall (again), the little girl who sang like a jazz singer from the 50s, several girls who blatantly thought they were the most talented person to ever exist (some succeeded, some failed), and an unbelievably creepy guy who brought Britney flowers and butchered one of her songs.

I like the show, I didn’t think that I would get sucked into it, but it’s too late – I’m invested. Any show that can make me cry and laugh multiple times per an hour, in my opinion, is worth watching. And I’m a very devoted fan. Britney may have been the reason I bothered to check the X Factor out, but she’s not the only reason I’ll be watching the show.

Of a Single Lady Lover

Santana and Britney Dancing Gif

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Normally I’m the type that avoids romance like it was a steaming cup of gasoline being poured down my throat. I’ve dated a bit, been in one actual relationship, and several of those we-act-like-we’re-dating-but-we’re-not-together situations. I don’t come from a family that prizes emotions. We praise wit, humor, apathy, and intelligence – emotional needs (and heaven forbid crying) are considered weakness.

But I’m just gonna say it, I want a girlfriend. It’s true. I’m not a detached zombie, I’m a human being damn it, and humans tend to long for all that cheesy bullshit they see in romantic comedies. I’m no different in that aspect, my issue is that I’m so accustomed to pushing away feelings that I don’t have the slightest idea how to begin a relationship.

I spend most my time with my co-workers or dancing buddies, all of whom I love dearly, all of whom are straight, and all of whom do not attract me in the ‘romantic’ sort of way. I don’t have very many gay friends anymore, considering that they are all spread out across the country, coast to coast … literally.

But my biggest problem is that I have a faulty gaydar, and secondly that no one thinks I’m gay. Even when I talk about women, wear rainbows, or make jokes, they are still surprised when at some point in a conversation I actually say the word. I’ve accepted that coming out will be a never-ending process. I need to learn how to actually meet someone, a dancer if possible, but a sense of humor is a must – I have no interest in dating anymore incredibly serious people.

So yeah, I want a girlfriend, but meeting someone and then having the guts to actually go for it – are two events that probably won’t occur in my near future.

If anyone has awesome tips, I’m listening.

Of Stupid Emotions

Crying Girl

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In my day-to-day life I would not call myself an emotional person. Nor would anyone that knows me. I’m not exactly much of a romantic, I don’t often cry, and I typically say things without thinking about how the other person will feel. Luckily they usually find me funny – I think it’s in how I say it, not what I’m saying. I’m a firm believer that most of the time people get offended because of the delivery not the content. Anyways …

My point is, I’m highly apathetic and thus not keen on dealing with feelings.

Until I start watching something. In the world of media I turn into a supreme sap. I’ll start crying when someone is amazingly talented or has a sweet back-story. In fact, most reality shows make me get all misty eyed. When someone dies, gets hurt, or cries – I cry. When someone falls in love, becomes successful, or realizes their true potential – I cry. I’ve cried during everything from One Tree Hill to Lip Service, Glee to How I Met Your Mother, America’s Got Talent to Tough Love.

But once the program is over I’m back to my old self. Happily walking through life in a bubble free of strife and wet eyes, frequently oblivious of my surroundings.

It’s a charmed life.

Girl Smiling

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