Of Tuesday Tunes – Love Me Like You Do by Ellie Goulding

My song of the week is Love Me Like You Do by Ellie Goulding. Sorry it’s Wednesday, Tuesday somehow slipped right passed me this week.

Ellie Goulding is the master of the powerful kick, she knows how to build a song, when to pull back, and when to heighten the energy. Through the use of layered voices to create the feeling of a choir she’s able to create a festive atmosphere that is completely captivating.

I love this song. While the lyrics aren’t the most earth shattering and they’re intentionally repetitive, it’s a fun song that makes me want to move, dance, and be in love – which is fine by me.

Favorite Lyric: “I’ll let you set the pace, cause I’m not thinking straight, my head spinning around I can’t see clear no more. What are you waiting for?”

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Of Coffee With a Side of Coffee

Girl holding two coffees

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The joy of being a Washingtonian falls into two main categories: coffee and scenery. The scenery is constantly beautiful. In the summer everything is still green, and it’s still breathtaking even when the winter brings clouds of gray. But the coffee, oye, you gotta be careful about that.

There’s several reasons to drink coffee: morning cup, pick-me-up, mid-day, pulling an all-nighter, before dinner, after dinner, romantic date, platonic get together, tough day, long drive, entertaining guests, the list goes on. The typical Washingtonian drinks coffee on a daily basis for any number of reasons, and many of us rely on that morning cup for sanity. Or my personality in a cup as I often say.

But nothing is worse than undoing caffeine’s hard work.

This happens on occasion. I drink my morning cup and the day is going swell. I’m awake, chipper, and feeling extra witty. But during either a break between plans or at work I accidentally fall asleep for 10-20 minutes. This puts me right back to where I started. I’m groggy, cranky, my personality is gone, and all I want to do is to fall back asleep. It feels like I only got an hour of sleep the night before instead of eight. Like I never had coffee. Like I just rolled out of bed. I cannot stress enough how much it sucks starting the day twice.

Day’s like that turn into a constant flow of coffee if taking a long nap is not an option. The normal one cup turns into two, then three, all because I fell asleep for a few minutes mid-day.

Of Tiredness Taking Over

Me asleep

Me asleep

“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.” – 1 Corinthians 13:11 (NIV).

This verse has been in my head lately, I first heard it on a mission trip. I then heard roughly seven sermons on the subject.

It inspired me in the following way.

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When I am tired, I look tired – the bags under my eyes gain a third grove and the soft skin darkens in color. Without makeup I look like a sickly patient just a few moments from death.

I conquer my exhaustion through fountains of caffeine. Coffee flows through my veins, pushing the blood aside as it pumps me full of energy. I take my makeup kit and begin to cover my flaws. First foundation, followed by spot covering blemishes with concealer, yellow goop to lighten the circles, flesh toned goop to even the tone, powder, mascara – I’m finished. But I still look tired. I’ll spend half the day checking the mirror trying to fix the bags under my eyes as makeup collects in the creases.

When I go to bed, I get distracted, despite how tired I’ve been throughout the day I watch Netflix, Hulu, On Demand. I listen to music, start cleaning, read a book. I start homework, procrastinate homework, and begin homework again.I fall asleep to Jimmy Fallon, Modern Family, or SNL. Silence makes my brain think, silence might let the nightmares return – let me dwell on the demons that have taunted my dreams for years.

When I wake up I’m still tired. I talk like a moody child, whine, and try to lift my head. I hit the alarm thirty times, roll out of bed and rush about to get ready to get ready for the day. If I had gotten up after the first ring I could have been on time. As it is – I’m late.

When I became a woman I got a little better, started to prioritize sleep, began to take naps. But my nightly routine was still a constant game of chicken against slumber. Regardless of who wins I end up the looser.

When I sleep I feel wonderful. But I still look tired. It doesn’t matter how much I sleep, or how bright and perky I feel. If it’s eight hours a night, daily nap, waking up naturally – I’ll always look tired. The bags under my eyes a constant physical mark of my years of abuse to my body, not letting myself sleep since birth.

I am a woman, but I’ve yet to put all of my childish ways behind me.