Of Awkward Ex Encounters

Ex Couple

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Okay, so we all have ex’s. Or at least, most of us do.

  • With some, the relationship ended amicably and you remain close buds.
  • With others, the end was so dramatic that seeing their face still brings extreme sadness to your soul.
  • With a select few, there’s no emotional pull at all. Being around them is akin to standing in a room of strangers. Just this stranger, you happen to have been intimate with momentarily.
  • With most, one of you is more hurt than the other, more attached, more likely to sit there and pine over the thought of, “What if?” A very dangerous question, mind you.

Everyone has ex stories, and I would love to hear all of them. Seriously, post them in the comment section, I will read each and every tale of lost love. I don’t care if you wish to share a story from when you were together or after you parted – I just love a good story, Hell, I even love a bad story on occasion.

Here, I’ll go first:

Recently the only man I’ve ever dated contacted me. And I think it’s important to clarify that we broke up over two years ago. That we were not a happy couple. Also, that I can’t remember the last time we had a conversation.

Anyways …

The situation was the sort of predicament that everyone wants to avoid – a former lover declaring that they miss them and want them back. And then, to inform you that they can’t afford to eat because they call out of work in efforts to avoid you.

Seriously? Don’t blame me for your hunger. 

Little is more uncomfortable than having someone you’d rather not talk with, cry about you over the phone.

But I was very polite, making grand statements like, “I’m sorry, but there’s nothing I can do to make you feel better.”

Then I got a handful of text messages. Granted it’s not seventy messages in two days like a different situation of mine (but that’s a whole different story – if you want to hear it, please let me know).

The first basically said, “What if I stop picking my fingernails?” – Huh? I don’t remember that being a problem.

The second asked me to think about what I’d done. Said, “It was nice to hear your voice the way that I remember it,” and urged me to take a couple of days to get back to him with why we can’t be together – Yeah, I’m not gonna do that. I think it’s VERY VERY obvious why I don’t want to date you again.

And the last accused me of rudely texting him in Spanish – I don’t even know Spanish. 

So there’s my most recent story. While my current dating life is quite stale, so much so that it’s borderline pathetic. It seems my past wanted to stir up the unwanted drama in my life.

Which is just … annoying.

Okay, now would you be so kind as to tell me a story?

Of Dating Life

Girls Kiss

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I’ve found that I’m an absolutely terrible dater. And hardly, if anyone, ever tries to argue this fact. If somehow I magically end up going on a date I usually end up ruining everything by date three – that is, if I reach date three. Typically I’ll just back out and suddenly stop responding to any form of communication. And by the third time I don’t respond, the girl usually stops trying to contact me. It’s over. The truth is I’m not scared of commitment, if I’m with someone I stick around, no matter how stupid or incompatible we may become. But starting something is scary, largely because of the whole being vulnerable business that I don’t particularly care for. So I figure, if we’ve only been on a handful of dates, do we really need the break up conversation?

Meeting people is weird. I don’t pay much attention to my surroundings, so I don’t generally notice if someone is actually interested in me. Unless you’re creepy. If you’re creepy I will notice, and I will do my very best to not be anywhere near you. I’ve been told that I don’t give off a gay-vibe. Straight and gay people alike have told me this, and I can’t really do much to change that. I’ve always kept my emotions private – so I guess that makes me hard to read. I like to think that once people get to know me they see the reality of my situation. However, that doesn’t help me on the meeting people, phase of life.

If I wanted to meet men that’d be easy. Men hit on me all the time, and they are not shy about it. But women are more reserved, and I’m always surrounded by straight chicks. So since I don’t look to any extent dyky, girls assume I’m also straight until I say otherwise. It’s dreadfully annoying. I simply don’t know how to meet people.

So I tried online, and this is what I found:

  • With online conversations people edit everything, so nothing sounds genuine. 
  • You’ll talk to someone for a couple of days or weeks and then never meet.
  • Or you’ll meet up and it will be super awkward or boring.
  • 90% of those that reach out to me I’m not attracted to.

To put it shortly, I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. The only thing I can figure is I need to change up my norm. Venture to places I don’t often go, introduce myself to strangers, make the first move. But I like my ways, I like my friends, and I don’t like making the first move. Ah, what a standstill I lead.

Of Political Triumph

Gay and Interracial Marriage

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Happy, No More Political Adds, day everyone! It’s my most favorite holiday. Let us all rejoice in our freedom from media slander and overall negativity. Whether you’re Democrat, Republican, Moderate, Libertarian, or you reside somewhere in the binaries – the voting has come to an end. So stop bitching at each other. Honestly.


This election was thrilling, not just because of the Presidential candidates, rather – I got to vote for human rights. Silly isn’t it? That we have to vote for something like human rights and equality?

Facebook has been a vicious war scene the past few days. People attacking each other for voicing their opinions and posting pictures of the candidates with harsh words below. If people were as aggressive as they were online, I’m pretty sure we’d all be fighting zombies right now, in which case, I’d need to buy a machete.

As I was sifting through never-ending childlike status’, I found one common thread that was very reassuring. The majority of my Facebook-version-of-friends were voting Yes on R74. For those of you that don’t live in Washington State, or simply weren’t paying attention, victory on R74 allows gays to legally marry.

One status, in its simplicity and non-ranting format, stood out:

One day our kids will see pictures of people holding signs that say “reject R74” and laugh that our generation actually needed to debate something like marriage equality. – Kyle Miller

I’ve heard all the negative shit: my mother is convinced that gay marriage cheapens her marriage, an acquaintance of mine thinks it will lead to people marrying animals (Really? In what world can animals consent?), another finds it gross, unnatural, thinks they should call it something else, and the pointless rants go on and on and on. It’s exhausting really, and I love that even though I myself am quite gay, people don’t have to social decency to even try to phrase things in a way that is polite. Nope, it’s election season – attacks all around. In their defense, I look nothing like Ellen DeGeneres, so they would never assume my sexuality.

What Kyle said is right, people will laugh. I know this because I do, I laugh. I laugh about the debates. I laugh about the sheer ignorance. In the same way that people of our generation look back at the interracial marriage debates, and laugh. Mystified that the shade of someone’s skin was ever such a big ordeal. But at the time it was THE ordeal.

I’ve been told, “Gays just aren’t giving us time to adjust. When I was a kid I never had to deal with this, but now they’re in our faces, and they just expect us to deal?” Yes, we expect you to deal. I guarantee you that there were several people who felt the exact same way about interracial marriage back then. And guess what? The change was for the better.


Anti Interracial Marriage Protest

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Anti Gay Marriage

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It’s ridiculous that a crew of rich and religious dolt’s think that they can control what others can and cannot do. It’s frustrating as Hell, but it’s kinda funny. And the reality is that it’s going to take years for people to change their mind and see that people are just that – people. Opinion’s will remain the same until we stop treating homosexuality like cancer. There is no drug to cure the liking of the same sex, I promise.

But for now, I’m proud to call myself a Washingtonian, and to be part of such an important moment in our nations history.