Of Spotting the Drunk Banana

Banana Costume

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I can’t say I love Halloween. I never have, even as a child I thought it was immensely overrated: trick or treating took way too long, the candy was disappointing, and it was intensely cold. I’d rather stay home.

As I got older I really wanted to like Halloween, I did. I threw a party in high school. I wore a slutty costume my sophomore year of college and went clubbing. I drove all the way to Seattle to party on Capital Hill. For all these adventures I was moderately amused, but I’ve never felt the excitement that people around me seemed to indulge in. Course, I’m usually 95% sober – that might be part of the problem.

But every year as I hang around my buddies, and watch them drink in their Halloween bliss, I keep up my search for the Drunk Banana.

Almost every Halloween I stumble across a Drunk Banana. A belligerent male stumbling around the streets, tripping over his tongue, with the tip of the banana suit beginning to sag. That Banana is one shot away from passing out behind a dumpster and snuggling against a mound of trash. Regardless of his, not-so-classy, demeanor he’s entertaining. I hail Satan for bringing me the Drunk Banana and all the people watching joy that he provides.

This year I missed the Drunk Banana. He slipped passed my vision as I ditched the mainstream Halloween realm of cocktails and techno music to embark on the underground Blues Dancing scene that owns my soul. I made the better choice, trust me, for once Halloween didn’t completely suck.

But I missed my version of the Great Pumpkin. Maybe next year.

Of Gagaween

It’s eerie how much this girl, Hilly Hindi, looks like Lady Gaga. The first time I watched it I didn’t watch the credits and I was fooled. Then when I watched it again I thought, why is Gaga suddenly much prettier? Why does she normally make herself look so ugly? That’s when I realized that it wasn’t her. But damn it’s creepy and very Gagalike.

There is a truth to this video.

Hilly Hindi portrays a Gaga you can’t hide from, she is also super creepy and has a slew of followers (Little Monsters) that don’t question her. I’m sick of Lady Gaga with her manifestos, preaching mentality, and overall attitude. I’m all for originality and creativity but the second album is simply a Madonna album with different lyrics. The only song that I like off her new album that I’ve heard thus far is You and Me.

She’s no longer using her image to enhance her music, rather she uses it to shock and gain more followers. I feel like she’s got lost in her image, the Gaga from her The Fame album is VERY different and made MUCH better music than the Born This Way Gaga.

Of A Top Hat

In my nonfiction class my professor gave us an in-class prompt to write about an article of clothing. I this amused me so I shall transcribe it here. It’s nothing spectacular but amusing nonetheless.

Top Hat

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My Top Hat

So much more than a top hat. It was a cheap Goodwill top hat. A top hat that had a sticker inside it proclaiming “Not appropriate for those 14 and under.”

It was black. It was plastic with a low quality ribbon around the base. The brim curled up an inch. The flat top of the hat was a few inches shorter than the legit one’s you see in period films.

It was amazing.

Yes I still have it. No I haven’t worn it since that night two Halloween’s ago.

Except for when friends come over and decide it must come out of hibernation. Particularly my friend Nicole. She’ll put it on and it comes to life. It becomes the star of the show – surprisingly, an excellent dancer.

When I wore it those years ago my costume was undetermined. Some said I was a dancer, others presumed vaudeville act, and some thought sexy business woman. All in all that Halloween was a dud. With the exception of a brief dance party at the Christian frat in Seattle, where Nicole got so plastered that she passed out and a half-naked Native American took care of her. We later found her lying in the hallway with a folding table as a blanket.

But my hat was a hit. As I said, it stole the spotlight.

After all, it’s a great dance partner.