Of How to Handle a Wrong Number

Wrong Number - All That

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I feel your pain. It’s not your fault your new phone number was someone else’s old number. You’re sick of getting all these phone calls for Jeffery WhatsHisName. You just wanna be loved. You long hear that beautiful ringtone, pick it up, say hello, and be invited to go to the bar with your bestie. But you can’t have this, thanks some dude named Jeffery and all of his damn friends, family members, and appointments. It’s frustrating I know, but it’ll be okay. Eventually the world will figure out that you are not who they are seeking.  Give it a little bit of time and ALL your phone calls will be for you.

That’s just how things work (#CommonSense).

There are many things I just have little patience for: people going under the speed limit, crocs, action movies, abruptly cancelling plans, velvet. Even so, what tests my calm demeanor the most is pointless jackassery. If someone’s gonna be a jerk to me, I should at least have done something to deserve it.

Here’s how NOT to speak to someone who calls you seeking someone else:

  1. Letting out the world’s longest sigh and stating, “Ugh, wrong number,” with a hint of teenage angst in your voice. I can see you rolling your eyes through the phone.
  2. Simply hanging up. Rude, I’m just gonna assume the call got dropped and try again. You’re just making yourself more pissed off.
  3. Yelling. Clearly this is the fifth time this has happened to you today. Not my fault.
  4. Telling me, “Tell your friend to have people stop calling this number.” I greatly dislike when strangers give me orders. And even with the world’s largest Facebook post, not everyone will get the message.

Here’s how to speak to someone who calls you seeking someone else:

  1. Some form of this conversation should go down:
    • “You got the wrong number.”
    • “Oh, sorry.”
    • “No worries, bye.”
    • “Bye.”

Is being polite, then saying goodbye to a stranger, really too much to ask?

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Of Embracing Flaws

Zooey Deschanel

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Flaws are beautiful. Flaws make people interesting and diverse. Too often we try to cover up our imperfections in an attempt to please the masses. And no matter how many times we hear about how being yourself is the best thing in the world, the cover ups continue. It seems that the world refuses to digest the message.

Personally, I love flaws, and I’ve embraced mine with warm and fuzzy feelings. For you see, accepted flaws become quirks – and quirks are endearing. I’m stubborn, clumsy, vain, shallow, dorky, bitchy, and apathetic. My flaws are a big part of my personality, and my choice to live life wearing them on my sleeve makes me a rather candid and entertaining individual, or at least I like to think so.

  • My stubbornness might mean that I won’t let you help me open a jar, but it also means that I will finish what I start.
  • My clumsiness is funny to me, in fact, my family often competes over who had the better clumsy moment that week – it’s apparently a family quirk.
  • My vanity comes from refusing to ever look like I’ve given up, I want to look and feel put-together. I believe in dressing up for life, not just for special occasions.
  • My shallowness means that I like pretty things, this doesn’t mean that everyone has to be supermodels, but everyone can look beautiful if they would believe it or try.
  • My dorky side allows me to take a vacation from the “real world” and watch whale videos on YouTube, obsess over the work of Joss Whedon, bust out a graphic novel, fail to play Zelda, or research the realm of pop culture with pride.
  • My bitchiness doesn’t make me mean, it makes me say what I think. I’m sarcastic, and don’t always consider the necessary filter.
  • My apathy is quite possibly the biggest flaw that I adore. I simply don’t care about a lot of things. If we were talking and you insulted me, I would probably assume you were just being sarcastic and not even realize. Blissful apathy is the life I lead.

My flaws stopped being flaws when I realized the value in them. I like walking around and knowing that I don’t blend in with the masses. I’m not flawed, I’m quirky. And quirks are endearing and wonderful.  Also, I think it’s fair to say that being quirky was a big part of what made Zooey Deschanel famous, so I can’t be the first person to have embraced this mentality.

Of Political Triumph

Gay and Interracial Marriage

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Happy, No More Political Adds, day everyone! It’s my most favorite holiday. Let us all rejoice in our freedom from media slander and overall negativity. Whether you’re Democrat, Republican, Moderate, Libertarian, or you reside somewhere in the binaries – the voting has come to an end. So stop bitching at each other. Honestly.

______________________________

This election was thrilling, not just because of the Presidential candidates, rather – I got to vote for human rights. Silly isn’t it? That we have to vote for something like human rights and equality?

Facebook has been a vicious war scene the past few days. People attacking each other for voicing their opinions and posting pictures of the candidates with harsh words below. If people were as aggressive as they were online, I’m pretty sure we’d all be fighting zombies right now, in which case, I’d need to buy a machete.

As I was sifting through never-ending childlike status’, I found one common thread that was very reassuring. The majority of my Facebook-version-of-friends were voting Yes on R74. For those of you that don’t live in Washington State, or simply weren’t paying attention, victory on R74 allows gays to legally marry.

One status, in its simplicity and non-ranting format, stood out:

One day our kids will see pictures of people holding signs that say “reject R74” and laugh that our generation actually needed to debate something like marriage equality. – Kyle Miller

I’ve heard all the negative shit: my mother is convinced that gay marriage cheapens her marriage, an acquaintance of mine thinks it will lead to people marrying animals (Really? In what world can animals consent?), another finds it gross, unnatural, thinks they should call it something else, and the pointless rants go on and on and on. It’s exhausting really, and I love that even though I myself am quite gay, people don’t have to social decency to even try to phrase things in a way that is polite. Nope, it’s election season – attacks all around. In their defense, I look nothing like Ellen DeGeneres, so they would never assume my sexuality.

What Kyle said is right, people will laugh. I know this because I do, I laugh. I laugh about the debates. I laugh about the sheer ignorance. In the same way that people of our generation look back at the interracial marriage debates, and laugh. Mystified that the shade of someone’s skin was ever such a big ordeal. But at the time it was THE ordeal.

I’ve been told, “Gays just aren’t giving us time to adjust. When I was a kid I never had to deal with this, but now they’re in our faces, and they just expect us to deal?” Yes, we expect you to deal. I guarantee you that there were several people who felt the exact same way about interracial marriage back then. And guess what? The change was for the better.

 

Anti Interracial Marriage Protest

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Anti Gay Marriage

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It’s ridiculous that a crew of rich and religious dolt’s think that they can control what others can and cannot do. It’s frustrating as Hell, but it’s kinda funny. And the reality is that it’s going to take years for people to change their mind and see that people are just that – people. Opinion’s will remain the same until we stop treating homosexuality like cancer. There is no drug to cure the liking of the same sex, I promise.

But for now, I’m proud to call myself a Washingtonian, and to be part of such an important moment in our nations history.