Of Balance and Creativity

Ballerina Hanging on a Fence

Click image to view source

Hey people! My apologies for the hiatus this past month. I know that the second rule of blogging is to never apologize for not writing (the first obviously being never post your diary online). But screw it, I’m going to apologize anyways. It’s too late, and no one can stop me.

In defense of my laziness, I have three very good excuses:

  1. I work two jobs 

    Yes! I’m a big girl now, with a big girl job, and the pencil skirts to go along with it. But alas, I still have the movie theater job on the weekend. The last day off I had was Christmas Day. It’s a marvel that I manage to see any of my friends, let alone sleep.

  2. It was the holidays 

    Lame excuse, I know, but regardless I’m using it. The excitement of the holidays threw my world into a frenzy. It was wonderful, I saw lovely people, and received great gifts (sans the book of psalms that I’m trying to not be bitter about).

  3. I’m trapped at my parents house until July

    Twenty-three years old, college graduate, work two jobs, DJ when I can, and yet I’m back in my high school bedroom surrounded by all the articles of Sarah’s past. That is until my future roommates lease runs out and I’m able to move.

Living in my old room zaps away my creativity. Normally I live in a world of narration, plot planning, and characterizing every person I see. But something about my parents house turns my mind to mush, my plots to pointless, and my characters to unbelievable. It’s unfortunate, but alas, true.


Though, now that I’ve started typing, I feel like me again.

So I guess I’ll do some belated new year’s resolutions:

  • Post here at least five times a month (min).
  • Start my nightmare novel.
  • Write a literal account of The 12 Days of Christmas before the arrival of the 2013 holidays
  • Get better at footwork when dancing.
  • Buy a new laptop and practice DJing for club music.
  • Get a Nexus pass

Of Wanting a Pirate Chick, Literally

Little gives me greater pleasure than diving into the literal, especially in realms where a literal interpretation is not appreciated. Take for instance music. I love lyrics, especially hip-hop, not for reasons of their quality but rather how completely absurd they are. In real life if a person walked up to a girl and said her body is crazy and they will tear it up tonight after she goes down on them – they would get slapped across the face and severely pummeled in the lower regions. Not in hip-hop land.

I’ll give you my (current) favorite example.

Remember the song, U and Dat by E-40 that came out awhile ago? If the answer is no, I assume it’s because you saw how the rapper spelled You and That incorrectly and decided it was best not to waste your time. If the answer is yes, did you listen to the lyrics?

E-40’s desires are simple, he wants the girl. It’s a sweet concept in theory, dark nightclub, sexy and sweaty dancing, inevitable lovemaking with a stranger, followed by a convenient “loss” of phone number – the grand ole one night stand.

What’s most interesting is what he notices about the girl, I’ll paraphrase: just want to get to you and that booty, to you and that monkey …. what you gonna do with this pussy? I think the reason for his attraction is quite obvious. It’s not that she’s behaving in a trashy manner wearing little to no clothing, or even that he expects to hook up with her tonight – the girl is clearly a pirate.

She’s got booty, probably a large pirates chest overflowing with gold coins, a pet monkey, and a cat not-so-cleverly named Pussy as a sidekick that she turns to for guidance. Hell, how could you not want to get to know her? So many questions would come to mind when seeing her: how did she become a pirate in the first place, where do you find a pet monkey, and wouldn’t it be more efficient to deposit her booty in a bank rather than lug around a hug chest of treasure?

I know if I were E-40 I would do everything I could to say hello and pet the monkey, maybe even feed it a banana. Plus there’s the reality of treasure, just a handful of coins could wipe away significant debt and buy me an awesome ship. A pirate chick would no doubt capture and hold my attention for quite sometime. I too would want to get to that monkey.

Unfortunately in the music video they went the slutty route as opposed to the pirate interpretation. But I stand by what I said, the girl is a pirate. Yarrr matey.

Of Terrible Lyrics

I’ve always been a very literal and rational person. I’m the human being who will stop for a moment when I hear a weird lyric. When a rarely used word is spoken in my presence I make a mental note to use it more often (then usually forget what the word was later – this is an annoying truth – I need to carry around a notepad).  Or I’ll complement my friends on excellent sentences or word choices when their are talking. I also talk to songs, commercials, or TV shows. My close friends either know that’s just what I do or play along, strangers tend to get very VERY confused.

There’s a lot of terrible lyrics out there. I have no idea how many times I’ve had this sort of encounter:

Me: Oh my god did they really just say that?

Friend: I just listen to the beat

I’ve never understood this, how can someone not hear the lyrics? I can’t not hear the words, I hear everything – including your precious beat (thank you band obsessed mother for that skill). Regardless there’s a handful of really awesome songs out there with absolutely stupid words thrown in, or phrases thank make me go hmmmm.

  • Help! By The Beatles

    Everyone loves this song, as they should. This song plays on loop at my work, and I always end up talking to the following lyric.

    “When I was young, when I was younger than today …”

    Woah, wait … say what?? Younger than today? Nonsense, I thought for sure you were older back then when you said young the first time. Thank you for explaining yourself, it was really necessary.

  • What’s Up by 4 Non Blondes

    What I love about this question is that they never tell you what’s going on. They just leave you hanging, and by the 50th time they ask what’s going on I’m think – hey, why don’t you just tell me? Oh you’re not going to? Jerk!

  • Sexy Bitch by David Guetta featuring Akon

    This is a prime example of beat versus lyric. I love this song, it has a great dance beat, always fun at a party. But I think it’s absolutely hilarious, in fact, making fun of this song is a big reason why me and Alisha are friends. Nothing says oh baby like being told that you are “incomparable to my neighborhood whore.”

Those are just a few examples of songs to talk with that make me chuckle.