Of a One-Track Mind

Now, based off the title a lot of people are going to assume the following words are going to revolve around sex. It’s understandable, but not what this is about. Sorry. I’ll talk about sex later – I promise.

This

Girl doing Homework

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Versus

Supernatural Screenshot

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Number Two is the Winner!

A one-track mind is a blessing and a curse. Say I need to get my clean on, an assignment is due in twenty minutes, or crashing the car is not an option. In all these cases having a highly focused mind on one activity is positive, preferable even. I’m afraid that the negatives tend to out way the good, at least currently in my life.

Lately my brain will be focused on one of the two tracks that most frequent my thinking-sphere: success and entertainment. Unfortunately these two trains never seem to be able to occupy my mind at the same time.

When I get on a success kick it’s literally all I care about. I don’t want to hear about your petty boy problems, listen to tales of your children, or even what you’re making for dinner. The only thing that concerns me is not failing at life (I have many a friend that can testify to this). I go heavy into research mode searching for internships, entry-level positions, and jobs for after graduation. I hoard hours at work, beg people to give me shifts and refusing to leave if they try to cut me early. Basically, my resume and money is what matters.

Now, if I could maintain the success kick I would be in a great place, career wise. However, a need to giggle with friends, dance, and be merry eventually creeps up and knocks my success train off the tracks, temporarily. This is where the need for entertainment takes over. I lose my drive regarding school work, I hang out with friends more than usual, suddenly have a dating life, and watch way too much TV. Everyone knows I love television, hell I better considering I want to work in television. When the need for entertainment takes over it’s not just watching anything and everything or never being home. I get engrossed into one particular show, and I usually hang out in the evening with other living beings.

As I said, one-track mind. This time around it’s Supernatural, I’ve been watching that show pretty much whenever I’m not at work. When it’s time to be focused and do homework (i.e. succeed at life) I find myself watching Supernatural while playing four-suit spider solitaire. It’s an amazing show, clever, well-written, and way more interesting than what I’m supposed to be doing. In fact, it’s the type of show I would love to be a part of creating.

Try as I might, it’s not easy to force myself onto the success train till graduation. Somehow I get my work done. Miraculous.

Supernatural gif image

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Of One-Way Friendships

One Way Street

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There’s nothing quite like friendship. Right?

It brings people together: they laugh, they dance, they sing songs, they get deep (real deep), they get drunk, they go on adventures, they rant, they go on and on about their romantic lives (or lack there of), I could write this list for hours. I love friends, more specifically, I love my friends.

But … more than once, in fact, more than thrice I’ve ended up in one-way friendships.

These are tiring, and usually occur once a human being reaches a point of expecting – meaning that they just assume that I’ll organize things. Or a point of taking me for granted – meaning that they know I’ll always be there. In both cases, I’m the one who has to make all the phone calls, organize plans, re-organize plans when suddenly they can’t make it. I get a lot of silence on their end and, “Oh my God I’m so sorry.”

Like my time isn’t as valuable as their’s, as if I don’t have homework, a job, a family, or other people I’m trying to balance. Apparently I have all the time in the world to sit around and wait for their convenience. Here’s the point of this rant: make time for your friends people, especially if plans you made plans in advance.

I wish it was as easy as toss them to the side, who needs that kind of friendship? Truth is I’m bad at ending friendships, I want to keep my friends – as I said earlier, I love them. Who likes to break up with somebody or enjoys confronting them about unfair behavior? No one.

I’ve been forced to walk away from a few best friends. It sucks, and there’s always a lingering bitterness. It’s worse than breaking up with a partner – because friendship isn’t as simple as we single or taken. Friendship cuts deeper, makes for allowances, and hopes that the other person will come around. Ending a friendship feels like a betrayal.

At the same time, if a person is putting zero effort into your friendship, they’ve created a problem that is nearly impossible to remedy. So to the people who live a life with one-way friendships it’s time to adhere to the age-old question: should I stay or should I go? (and yes, please start singing now).