Of 25 Years of Knowledge!

Lighting the Candle

Lighting the Candle

Today is my 25th birthday, which means I’m due for a quarter-life-crisis anytime now.  Most importantly, I can officially rent a car anywhere in the United States without being forced to pay extra extensive fees. My last God-given American right till I can get Senior Discount.

Over the last 25 years I have come to acquire much knowledge, 25 of those nuggets of wisdom are listed below.

Mime smoking the candle

Mime smoking the candle

Enjoy:

  • Always get paid to go to the bathroom when at work. It’s strangely satisfying. Don’t go on your break.
  • Being rejected sucks, but it’s better than pining.
  • There’s no such thing as Sunday’s best. You can wear nice clothes whenever the Hell you want.
  • God doesn’t hate people. God loves people. So whoever, or whatever your God, or lack of God is – just be happy.
  • In terms of coming out, there is no “right” place to be, go at your own pace.
  • Whales are the best creatures, but they shouldn’t be held in giant salty bathtubs.
  •  You’re never too old for children’s movies.
  • Dance is the best thing ever.
  • “It is perfectly acceptable to watch TV all day,” Nick Miller (New Girl).  I concur, so long as it’s not EVERYDAY.
This is kinda burning my face.

This is kinda burning my face.

  • Don’t be a hipster. Just…. don’t. It’s not cool to complain that other people are only just now discovering something awesome – it’s douchey.
  • Do what you have to do, don’t let pride get in the way of moving forward. Like, if you need a job but can’t find anything other than fast food – take it and keep looking for something better.
  • Don’t waste time on one-way friendships (aka, when you do all of the work and they constantly bail or cancel on you). In the end, it’s never worth it.
  • There’s no need for closet fandom. Don’t be ashamed of your tastes.
  • Go on mini adventures.
  • It’s super lame when people have to get drunk in order to have the balls to do something.
  • A pent-up kiss is a dangerous catalyst.
  • When hiking make sure to venture off the standard path. See what happens when you make your way through the brush, maybe you’ll find a hidden paradise.
  • Cliff jumping is terrifying but exciting.
Wax burned my hand

Wax burned my hand

  • Long distance friendships are difficult to maintain but they make for lasting friendships – texting and Facebook help. As an added bonus of your long-distance BFF, you’ll always have someone to gossip with, since most likely they will never actually meet any of the people you talk about. Or if they ever do visit, they’ll already know so much about your buddies that they’ll act like old friends. It’s a win-win.
  • You can make any summer dress into a winter dress by adding leggings, a jacket, and boots. Fact.
  • Truly hating someone or holding a grudge is a wasted emotion. Channel that angst somewhere more productive and less bitchy.
  • If you need help, ask for it.
  • People have way more sex on TV than any single person I have ever known in real life.
  • No matter how embarrassing, awful, or weird the event was – at least now you got a great story.
  • Embrace whatever phase of life you’re in. Before you know it, everything will change again, and all you’ll have left of right now is some memories – and maybe a trinket or two.
Bye bye candle

Bye bye candle

*Sorry, I was forced to use bullet points because it wouldn’t let me insert the pictures without restarting the numbers from zero. But I swear there’s 25 things – count if ya don’t trust me 🙂

Of Attempting Success

Me Being Awsome

“Do what you have to do.” – Sarah Luna (aka ME!)

I’ve never been one to say, “Here’s my super challenging goal, and dammit if I don’t succeed.”

I’m much more likely to say, “What I’m doing right now is no longer working, I think it’s time for a change.”

When it’s time for that change, I move quickly. I’m often surprised by how much I can accomplish when actually I put in the time and effort. I know, shocking right? Then once I’m at a place where I’m comfortable again, I’ll stay there, until I have to move on. It’s a slow ladder, but it’s a happy ladder. And though I’m frequently less well-off than I’d like, I seem to do okay. I still have my friends, family, dance life, and I manage to eat. I still have my goals, my dreams, and my ever-increasing to-do list.

I’m great at doing what I have to do: If I need a job, I’ll get a job. If I need to write, I’ll write. If I need to get stronger, I’ll get stronger. And since the number one thing that pushes me to aim higher is a desire to not fail, here’s my current crossroads: I can either scrape by working one job but never have any sort of cushion, or I can put active effort into pursing my dreams of becoming working writer and look for some freelance writing jobs.

This is exactly what I’m doing. It’s just an added bonus that I also love what I’m doing. And truthfully, this blog post functions as a contract to both myself and anyone who enjoys my writing, that I will submit those applications and start writing that book that I’ll probably have to self publish.

I think all writers can agree that being a good writer is about more than stringing a bunch of words together to meet the criteria. It’s about diving in headfirst and hoping for the best.

So here’s to hoping for the best!

Of Getting Lost in BC

Going on an adventure

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My friends and I have a tendency to get lost in Canada. A lot.

Since we all live in the States, unless we have access to wi-fi, we must revert back to the pre-cellular device days and thus are required to look for familiar landmarks, ask for directions, or try to read a map with very tiny print. Inevitably, the simplest directions somehow get clouded in an array of one-way streets, signs that we swear can only be read if you’re driving in a certain direction, and the frustrating inability to phone a friend.

But we love it.

Or, at least I do.

Nothing, and I stress nothing, is more satisfying than finally reaching your destination after hours of wrong turns. In fact, that moment when you first step out of the car is guaranteed to be the highlight of your evening. From that point on, you are floating on  a champagne filled cloud in the sky, it would take some serious what-the-fuckery to bring your buzz down.

It’s gotten to a point, where I actually kinda/sorta know where I am. Not because I’m familiar with the streets, but because I’ve been lost there so many times before. Which means that while I am not certain of where we should go, I do know which way not to go. And that my friends, is baby-steps.

The truth is, what little shame I may have, is completely gone once I get lost. And then, when I get some much needed directions, I’ll still find a way to get confused and make a wrong turn. It’s almost a guarantee.

Here’s just a sample platter of actual things I’ve done when completely at a loss for where I was:

  • Made reckless turns because in the distance I thought I saw the correct road sign.
  • Struggled to get information from a clerk who had never heard of where I was trying to go, which was the border. In the end, they gave me a blank stare and I had to ask a guy in the parking lot.
  • Stopped in the middle of an intersection and asked the flagger for a detour when they closed down the street that I desperately needed.
  • Yelled at some bros partying on a balcony.
  • Chased down a mini-van and knocked on the passenger window – the poor lady nearly had a heart attack.
  • Blocked a semi-truck with my car, hopped out, stood on the edge of the truck, and proceeded to ask the one toothed man, “Excuse me, how do I get to America?”

 

Of Doing Just Good Enough

Test

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From childhood, those of us who are lucky are told that we have the power to succeed in anything we do. It’s a sweet sentiment, course, I never did become a dolphin trainer or learn to do a cart-wheel – but if I really wanted to, I could succeed at each task.

As I’ve gotten older, the simplistic mentality of everything’s possible has changed. At least for me.

Instead of craving for success, chasing that dream, or daring to take a chance. I just try to not fail. I find that, “just don’t fail,” is all the motivation I need to get out of bed in the morning – albeit a little late.

Not failing was made me an A/B student instead of an A student. It’s why I do okay at work, but I’m not the best employee ever. It’s what keeps me skinny, but not in shape. It’s why I can swim well enough to not die, but you won’t see me swimming across a lake.

If I had the energy, or truly cared, then I would focus on success and being my absolute best. But for now, I’m content to just not fail at stuff.

Of a One-Track Mind

Now, based off the title a lot of people are going to assume the following words are going to revolve around sex. It’s understandable, but not what this is about. Sorry. I’ll talk about sex later – I promise.

This

Girl doing Homework

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Versus

Supernatural Screenshot

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Number Two is the Winner!

A one-track mind is a blessing and a curse. Say I need to get my clean on, an assignment is due in twenty minutes, or crashing the car is not an option. In all these cases having a highly focused mind on one activity is positive, preferable even. I’m afraid that the negatives tend to out way the good, at least currently in my life.

Lately my brain will be focused on one of the two tracks that most frequent my thinking-sphere: success and entertainment. Unfortunately these two trains never seem to be able to occupy my mind at the same time.

When I get on a success kick it’s literally all I care about. I don’t want to hear about your petty boy problems, listen to tales of your children, or even what you’re making for dinner. The only thing that concerns me is not failing at life (I have many a friend that can testify to this). I go heavy into research mode searching for internships, entry-level positions, and jobs for after graduation. I hoard hours at work, beg people to give me shifts and refusing to leave if they try to cut me early. Basically, my resume and money is what matters.

Now, if I could maintain the success kick I would be in a great place, career wise. However, a need to giggle with friends, dance, and be merry eventually creeps up and knocks my success train off the tracks, temporarily. This is where the need for entertainment takes over. I lose my drive regarding school work, I hang out with friends more than usual, suddenly have a dating life, and watch way too much TV. Everyone knows I love television, hell I better considering I want to work in television. When the need for entertainment takes over it’s not just watching anything and everything or never being home. I get engrossed into one particular show, and I usually hang out in the evening with other living beings.

As I said, one-track mind. This time around it’s Supernatural, I’ve been watching that show pretty much whenever I’m not at work. When it’s time to be focused and do homework (i.e. succeed at life) I find myself watching Supernatural while playing four-suit spider solitaire. It’s an amazing show, clever, well-written, and way more interesting than what I’m supposed to be doing. In fact, it’s the type of show I would love to be a part of creating.

Try as I might, it’s not easy to force myself onto the success train till graduation. Somehow I get my work done. Miraculous.

Supernatural gif image

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Of Writing Failure

Success and Failure Sign

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Recently I wrote about being a lazy writer, an epidemic that all procrastinating artists can surely relate to.

The thing is laziness is a state of being. A state which can be easily overcome if one truly wants to.

Lately I’ve been suffering from a different writer problem. Quite simply – writing failure.

I have not liked what I’ve been writing. Private or academic. I’m not even satisfied with this blog post. And when what I’ve put to paper is rushed for a class, I find that especially frustrating.

I’ll be honest. I’m a better writer than most. Fiction and Non-fiction. I’m not the best, but I’m better than most, and I think that if I was pushed (by either myself or someone else) I could be fantastic.

Last night I was trying to write an eight page short fiction for my morning class. I spent hours trying to write something that wasn’t cliché and generic with no luck. I had words on a page. But they were just that: words. There wasn’t anything of substance behind them. The character’s were dull, the plot was non-existent, and I had no ideas on how I could progress the characters or what could happen around them. It was lame. UBER lame. I was frustrated.

It was a failure moment.

Non-writer’s struggle to relate to this. They hear: yes the paper is good enough and guaranteed at least a B with little to no effort. They wonder why I don’t just turn it in.

It’s simple. My own personal standards. And those are way more influential on what and how I write than a teacher or a peer. If I don’t think it’s as good as my other writing. Or if it isn’t coming out on paper as I imagined it in my head. It’s not good enough. So I sit there, stressing out because I know I’m better than that. I know that there’s more here that I’m not seeing. I want to write my Les Misérable. Sadly my creativity is failing me, and I’m writing a stupid Twilight instead.

Isn’t that the deal though writer’s? And I’m sure this goes for other art forms as well. Most of what I create isn’t the bestest-thing-ever. Most of it is painstaking work that doesn’t turn out the way I hoped. But when it does, that’s mighty exciting, and that makes all those practice drafts where I learned what works and what doesn’t, where I tried a variety of styles worth it.

Ultimately all the failures (hopefully) are leading towards a success.

Here’s my failure time line of yesterday:

  • I had about five pages done but I hated ALL of it.
  • Around 11pm I started a whole new thing.
  • I wrote until 2am
  • Went to sleep and woke up at 6am
  • Got ready for the day
  • Got to campus at 7am
  • Wrote like a mad women (didn’t have time to revise, was almost long enough, thank God it’s a rough draft)
  • Turned in my assignment online at 8:29am (class started at 8:30am)
  • I was late to class